Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
