dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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