I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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