i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
