jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Drake has all the answers
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
