I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize