3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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