Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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