I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
