is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
