I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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