thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
