shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
