Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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