okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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