Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
