I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
