DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
