I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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