I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
