you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
