Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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