im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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