wat bout pragnant strippers??
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
