I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
