Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
