I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
