sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
