Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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