Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
