He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
