i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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