The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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