I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
