are you still at the devil's house?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
