I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
