we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
