I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
