You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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