I murdered the dance floor call the cops
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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