I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
