fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
