hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
