I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
