So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
