yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
