I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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