I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Drake has all the answers
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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