Can i not drive my cunt home
I think I am morally bankrupt
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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