Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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