last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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