maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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