During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
