I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it was like eating out sand paper
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
