well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
