Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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