Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
