i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
