You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
