Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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