So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
