On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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