i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize