I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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