it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
