That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
