How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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