Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
