If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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