Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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