South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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