OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
