You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
