covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
