This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
