I heard we made out
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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